Selflessness

I know just a couple of posts ago I talked about stopping the mommy worries and how I hate the expected self-sacrifice that moms are expected to do but I just have to share this blog post because it made my heart melt! I think that there is something very different between being selfless and self-sacrificing. To me, being selfless is giving of yourself until there is nothing left to give, but it still leaves you intact, whereas being self-sacrificing is, just as it sounds, destroying yourself for others. I love this quote from The Awakening by Kate Chopin, “I would give up the unessential; I would give up my money, I would give up my life for my children; but I wouldn’t give myself. I can’t make it more clear; it’s only something I am beginning to comprehend, which is revealing itself to me.” No matter what people say a mother should never give herself completely to her children. Without fulfilling herself once in awhile, without “pampering,” or allowing her to luxuriate in what she loves to do, she would have nothing to give her children to begin with! Self-sacrificing mothers only create a sense of dread in children. It is no fun having someone else live vicariously through you. 
However, being selfless is something that every mother knows she is called on to do time and time again. Being selfless is something you are really called on to do no matter what relationship you are dealing with, and is hopefully something you are willing to do. Sometimes this can seem to be almost a mountain of a task though! There are days when I want nothing more than to tell my kids to fend for themselves and give me two seconds peace. I will never understand the magical forces that make children desperately need something the instant you shut the bathroom door or pick up the telephone. But whenever I am cross with them, or with myself for not getting a job and packing them off to a sitters to let someone else deal with them, I remember that in so many ways I AM the sitter. These are not my children, they are God’s. I am not their master, I am their mother. I do not control them, I teach them. And somehow this always gives me strength to give a little more of myself and get through the day. Just as those magical forces make my children push my limits, they also make my children touch my heart when I need it most. I love this quote from the blog so much:
 “When they were very young, I sort of blamed them and became frustrated with them and sometimes felt deep anger–as though it was somehow their faults for being children and needing me. Or even just that they were alive and needy seemed too much. I had never faced my own selfishness until I had children.

Now as an adult, I can see that my children have been my training grounds for building godly character in my own life. Jesus wanted me to learn to be like Him so He gave me children.” 
I hope that whoever you are and whatever your life situation is, you give to yourself as much as you can, so you have more to give to others whenever they ask.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s